It's been a while and since I've not been out to breakfast someplace new so I think I'm going to at the very least throw a review for a place I've been and never will go again your way.
OLD COUNTRY BUFFET
That's right. I went there. And I went there. The OCB. Let me lay out the sordid detail for you hip cats...
Here is how we've all at some point wound up at the OCB
Me: I'm soooooooooo hungry. And Poor. And Hungover. And I got this coupon in the mail.
Maggie: Me too! Especially that last one.
Me: Sweet. Endless breakfast for a pittance. Plus we don't really have to tip. Plus we can dress like shit because we'll be at the OCB!
So you get in a car together to save gas even though you're going less than 5 miles, and you walk through the door of the OCB.
Right away you know it's a bad idea, but you only have $7 on you, you've already cut out the coupon, and you are in a coffeeless daze so bad you don't even notice the peeling wallpaper.
The very unhappy cashier makes you PREPAY for food. Welcome to the land of no refunds.
You pick out a booth as far away as possible from everyone else as you can possibly get. You don't want them A) seeing your shame B) eyeing your stuff. they might steal it.
Me: Graaaaaaaarg Hungry
Maggie: Brawwwwwww me too.
Gather your courage because it's time to go up to the buffet. You're thinking "maybe this will be good. maybe it'll be a veritable breakfast wonderland." Wrong. It's a likeness of a breakfast wonderland. It looks like scrambled eggs. Smells like scrambled eggs. Why doesn't it taste like scrambled eggs? The bacon is like delicate burnt ancient parchment. The sausage is weeping because it never got to be sausage. Suddenly I'm not so hungry, yet I plan on going back for more? I'm so confused and ashamed.
But hey, at least there is bottomless coffee.
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